DIG ! Big Daddy and I "R" puttin this thing together 'bout Rat Fink and the gang and it's still sorta under construction so check out wot we got so far and come back often ta see how we're doing......... webmeister "Moldy Marvin"
Rat Fink and tha gang are real decent... aint
a one of 'em ta sweat! Lemme set it straight for ya!!...
Finky is a family rat... one'a the good guys. Him an his lawfully wedded-type main
|squeeze, Trixie, gots
these two Fink-agers, Gunther & Gretchen... they also got a dog, Ratchet Jaw (his
fleas drive around in a hearse & stop at all tha rest stops on Rachet Jaws back ta
picnic!).Them Finks likes
ta have fun! Any night at the Fink casa (a 50 Studebaker next to Finkys big garage in the junkyard) will find em playin'; games like "Name That Cheese" (always the
good & stinky stuff!), eatin' pizza with extra Limburger & anchovies & drinkin' lotsa root beer! (Angel Fink brand... but we'll get to that later!)
R.F.'s always got these "mystery
food" splotchies on his shirt cuz he's always
eatin' in bed & when he gets snoozy, he konks out an' the grub plops on his clothes!
(Hack! Cough! Eck!)... HEY!!! Pass them there pliers!!! (Heachhh!)... I got me a chicken-bird bone stuck in mah (Ech!) throat!!! (Kuck! Bugh!)...Okay...(Erph!)...think
I...(Garg!)...got it! On with the story!
Now listen up, kidd-O's.. here's the REAL-EEL DEAL on tha rest of the gang...
Rat Funk is R.F.'s ol' pappy... he lives in the junkyard next ta Finky's joint in a
house he made outta PEZ candy an'a buncha Kewpie dolls as the foundation...
Poor ol' fella has arthritis an' he drinks a special brew of Clamato, Ensure & a
splash'a nitro that really "blasts" that pain away! Back in the '20's, Rat Funk rode a 300lb. Redwood longboard on a tsunami from Santa Cruz ta' Diamond Head & back... axe him 'bout it sometime... (Chuckle!)
Surf Fink is Rat Fink's cousin from the west coast... That boy can shoot the curl like no other & hang ten with the best of 'em! When he's not pluckin' the crabs offa his nose & toes, he helps ol' ladies from Pomona git on their wetsuits an' wax their boards!
Junkyard Kid lives in a cave of rusted-out
ol' wrecks at tha junkyard (DUH!). His front door is made outta the trunk of' a old
Caddy... J.K. wouldn't trade his home fer even a can'a mO-lasses, cuz he knows the
junkyard is where all the brain goodies (ideas... dig it!) Come to life! Besides, he has a
"BIG SECRET"... only HE knows that a WWII cargo plane dropped a lifetime supply
of SPAM there!!!
Dirty Doug is R.F.'s right hand man when it comes ta' formin', choppin'
& shapin' all those fiberglas bodies! He always wears a tuxedo to work & by
the end' a the day, he's covered in so much plaster that, if it rains, he turns into a
statue! But don't worry about that, cuz Rat Fink always keeps a big bloody rock around ta' break him out!
|Drag Nut is the original Mexican gearhead! He
digs hangin'; at the street races & gulpin'; down all the half-finished root beers all
the other fellas leave layin' around. His lowrider'
hydraulics like to act up at weird times, too... like when he's at the teller window at the bank! Up n' down at the worst times. His change always flips back into the money tray...TOO BAD!!
Wild Child lives in an abandoned airplane
hangar that he turned into his
casa & shop... W.C. went to a run down dragstrip one night fer inspiration on his next creation & a UFO came down real close & beamed him the plans for a flyin' car! He wrote ';em down on his t-shirt & went home to catch some Z';s so he could be rested & ready to start buildin'; in the mornin';... when he woke up, he found that his maw had warshed the shirt!!! (Eeek!) The plans were almost COMPLETELY faded off the shirt, so he gave up on 'em & sold 'em ta' Big Daddy & Big Daddy made the Rotar!
(There wuz a rumor goin'; 'round that Wild Child copied the plans down on
his tennis shoe & sold it to Barris, too) ...
|Angel Fink is a wild ol' hag that whips up tha' best fuel for the gang's rods... she also makes a "killer" nitrous rootbeer with floating Limburger chunks speared with frilly cocktail toothpicks!|
|Mother's Worry is an escapee from a
single-parent household... His "Mother Dear" calls him on his cell phone all the
time & he has ta' sneak away from the rest'a the
guys to talk to her... she doesn't want him to drive fast an' hang out with "those strange boys from down the
block"... as soon as he's off the phone, on goes tha' helmet & he's back on the Finksville Speedway!
Baja Kid is kind of a nasty little guy... he
thinks he';s real bad & wears
Marvel Mystery Motor Oil in his hair & likes ta'get in everybody';s face and talk smart... he always borrows the guys'; clean tools and brings 'em back all fulla grease! He likes to hang at the races in Baja with his ';68.... 4 wheel drive pickup .....that has a big shiny gun rack in the back winder with a big shiny (GULP!) shotgun hangin' in it.
|Mr. Gasser & the Weirdos are the local garage band... Rat Fink sometimes sits in on guitar with the fellas. They like to take some ham & cheese "sammitches" over and jam in Finky's garage, so they've gotta watch out fer all tha' tools an' grease spots! When they play, the vibrations knock the Kandy Kolors|
off the shelves and any car in the way at the time gets a brand new "paint job"! Folks around town started ta' notice these new "Kustom" jobs & wanted their rides done too, so now, whenever the guys play, they bring a new car into the garage & make a few bucks while they jam! Their motto is "Keep On Playin'" or "K.O.P."!
Bad Kitty likes to hang around an' make
everybody mad... his hobbies are
shedding fur, scratching up new tuck & roll to get to the donkey hair & he LOVES to hack up hairballs (BLECH!!!) on everybodies steering wheels! What a kooky kat!!!
On Saturday nights, all the Finks go hang out at AnGelo's Drive-In... they
always gots tha'best tunes, food an' atmosphere! (Where else ya' gonna get yer double
chili-cheese fries w/triple onions wheeled up to ya' by a cute Fink-ette in rollerskates???)
One night, Von Dutch swung by in his super-cherry striped UFO, "Kandy
Kolored Angel Wing Dee-Luxe-O-Mobile" and layed down the word to all the Finks... he sez, "Hey kids, dig this... I got me a new pad made outta three layers of Jello... the bottom layer';s lime Jello with pineapple... the second layer's orange Jello with raisins an' pecans... but get THIS... the very top layer is made outta STRAWBERRY Jello and it has walnuts, oranges, bananas and all the whipped cream you can
EAT! I likes the top layer the most! That's where I live! You guys can live
there too, if ya'; keep on bein' the good guys!" Then he took off through the night sky on that UFO at lightnin' speed! Now all the Finks live by those words!
Stay Tuned Finks Cuz There's More To Come.........
Rat Fink and all images and names on this page and device and Ed "Big Daddy" Roth and "Moldy Marvin" are trademarks of Ed Roth © 1999 Rat Fink device © Ed Roth 1989